A Week In My Life, Day 3

February 29, 2012, Leap Day. Woot. The started with hearing Emmy whimpering in her sleep and then start crying as soon as she woke up. She is taking the no softball thing pretty hard. I noticed on the way to school that a nice crop of political signs has sprung up. Please note Roy Moore is running for Supreme Court again. I can't wait to be a national laughing stock again.

Also, you can see the stop sign that is going to get my in really bad trouble one day. But that's all I'm saying on that.

Work was hectic. We are getting ready for a really big review by the State week after next. I helped Big Emily decide which snack would give her the most food for her 85 cents (math, even social workers use it).

Then we took a break on the lovely patio. You can see how dreary it was. Dreary but muggy.



I had a couple of surprises waiting for me when I got home. I had ordered Watchmen Monday and it came in along with an unexpected box from Southern Candymakers in New Orleans. My friend Erin (and I assume her boyfriend Blake) sent me a care package since I was dying of what I have now determined is an Alien infection. Chocolate fleur de lis, gator and crawfish plus authentic pecan pralines. Hello, sexy lips!

The girls and I then headed on over to IHOP and to target to run a few errands. Before leaving, we snapped a few pictures. Notice Annabeth's awesome Batman utility belt. Yep, she even wore it to school.

Of course, this was the best part of dinner.

We played around in Target a little while. Crayola now makes a line of colors that are themed. There's pirate, rock star, mermaid, cupcake, ice cream sundae, princess, glitter and of course....

The main job when we got home was to color Annabeth's hair. She decided she wanted to go back red so we did. She was very happy with the results, though you wouldn't be able to tell it from this picture.

The night was stupid. My tummy/esophagus/Alien issues persisted a long time. Then I was hot. Then I got sucked in to some Facebook conversations. Then a friend texted me a funny picture. Then Annabeth was scared. Then it was a wicked storm. Then my mind went in to overdrive....Good times.

A Brief Thought

I'm wearing my hair in a French braid today and a top with a low neckline. If I had my ink already, it would be showing and it would cause quite a stir.

A Week In My Life, Day 2

Welcome to February 28, 2012. Day two of my documented week started the same as all of them. Emmy got herself up and off to school and I then drove Annabeth to school. Because I am such a good mom, I let her listen to one of her favorite CDs, Celebrity Psychos by the Cornbugs. If you've never heard them, check them out and then you will realize just how awesome I am.

By the time I got to work, I was so sick from my antibiotic that I could barely hold my head up. But I muddled through. Here is what I get to look at when I'm sitting at my desk.

When I got to feeling better, I watered my plants. I know that doesn't sound like much but pay close attention to the plant in the bottom left. That's how most plants usually end up after being left to my care.

However, these must be super plants. The upper left plant that's blooming was a gift when I came back to work after having Annabeth so I've had it 14 years come April. The one next to it is a cutting from a plant that sat on my great-grandmother's kitchen table for years and years and she's been gone almost 30 years. The live one in the floor was a birthday gift from my first unit so I'm thinking Monday will be 10 years that it has lived under my care.

Lunch was no bueno. I thought I would be able to eat but that was a bust. So this was lunch.

And this was the view as I sat in the parking lot and talked on the phone a bit.

In between all that work stuff (maybe I'll tell about it one day) I talked to a friend that I'd reconnected with on Facebook that I'd not talked to since probably 10th grade. I had only one stop to make after work, but it's something that I hate with a passion.

I hate pumping my own gas with a burning passion. Enough time has passed that about 98% of the bitterness and anger over the divorce has gone away. However, when I have to pump gas it flares up like it was 2007 all over again and I think (and sometimes say) really not nice things.

When I got home I had to face the consequences of missing the deadline for softball sign up.

My Emmy is heartbroken over not getting to play this year. I have ruined her life and should not expect her to ever get over this. She did manage to complete her Social Studies project despite the devastating turn of events.

The rest of the evening was spent just talking to the girls and watching "Dance Moms." There was a hilariously disturbing conversation that I will be glad to share with you via email or text. I actually was able to get in bed around 10 PM but sleep eluded me for a bit because I was subjected to Samara Morgan and komodo dragons right before I turned in.

Stay tuned. As the greatest song ever says:

And when the morning light comes streaming in
I'll get up and do it again.

Huh.

Tomorrow is Leap Day and I turn 40 a few days later. It occurred to me that if my life were a romantic comedy the next few days would be magical. I would be caught up in a whirlwind of intrigue, romance and conflicting emotions. Would the mysterious stranger that sets my heart to racing win me over with some far fetched plan that involves me traveling to a distant but picturesque setting? What about the best friend that knows me better than anyone through our years of complacency? Where would all this upheaval lead us? And dammit! I want to dance and look retardedly happy during my montage of 80s songs.

How in the hell did an entire generation of women allow themselves to fall for this crap? It is easier for me to believe that there is a video that will kill you in 7 days than it is for me to believe that Jennifer Aniston and Amy Adams can't find boyfriends.

A Week In My Life

I stole this from my friend Daggers. She thought it might be fun to document a typical a week in the life, via pictures and words. It’s mostly a typical week, but of course every week has its random twists and turns and craziness. So it is, the riveting life of me for the week of February 27 through March 4.

My day always begins at 5:30 with the intro to Slayer's "Raining Blood." That works better at waking me up than any tone my Crackberry can offer. You've all probably heard me say a few times that I smell good. It's because I do! Behold, my smell good ingredients. Please note the top to the perfume is off because it's nothing but a tiny mirror and well, use your imagination.

That's also the last book I read. I got conned in to reading the Dresden Files by my bff. He's the devil like that. One last thing about getting ready...

I'm in week two of battling a staph infection. Yay me! The antibiotics are killing me.

On my drive in to work, my sister called me to let me know that her father in law had passed away early this morning. It was expected but still not an easy thing to hear. In my family, we are never the bearer of our own news so it fell to me to notify the others of this. I got to talk to my brother, which I never do even though he lives right here in town, and my stepmom and aunt. Savannah even got in on the gabfest and called me during lunch to update me on the latest installment of her soap opera.

Speaking of lunch, I had sushi. YUM! After I got used to the texture, a California roll became a definite favorite of mine. The garnish today (I think it's supposed to be shaved ginger or something but we always call it "labia" because that's what it looks like) was all messed up and reminded me of a dead Patrick Starfish.

Work was especially stupid and nerve wracking. I should have taken a picture of my hair. My poor hair, it bears the brunt of my anxieties and nervous energy. Anxiety leaves it knotted up in tiny braids; stress and frustration leave it sticking up in all directions.

After work, I had two minor errands to run that ended up taking over two hours. I stood at America's Best for an hour waiting to pick up a box of contacts for Annabeth. Then it was over to Wal Fart to grab some potatoes and carrots for a quick dinner. My Heathens love when I roast potatoes, carrots and smoke sausage together. I didn't realize that I grabbed a bag of gourmet taters so we ended up with rainbow food. Who knew potatoes could be purple and pink?!

After dinner, Annabeth, Emmy and I just hung out. Em and I watched television together and spent two hours being grossed out by Hoarders. She's having some clingy issues so she sat right up on me or had her head in my lap the whole time. I was astounded when I realized how thick her hair is. No fair! When it finally grows out, she is going to have a head full of hair that romance novel heroines would die for.

Throw in a phone call from a friend I haven't talked to in minute and one to my Daddy to tell him happy birthday and that was pretty much my February 27, 2012.

Regular or Ortega?

The other night, Savannah got a late start headed back to school. I went to bed, expecting to get a text from her about an hour later. However, ten minutes later I hear her come back in the house, rummage around the kitchen and go back outside. Quick texts reassure me that she is "kk" but she is back in the house a few minutes later. I fired off another text.

"Are you sure you're ok?" (and yes, that is a direct quote. My texts tend to contain words like "you" and "are" and even "bastion".)

"Yeah, just a straw in my gas tank."

For some reason, she was surprised when I jumped out of bed, threw on clothes and ran outside when she gave me that response. I found her peering in to her gas tank using her cell phone as a flashlight, with a gas can and an Ortega taco sauce bottle at her feet. She explained that when she left for school, she realized she needed gas but didn't want to stop and pump any (i.e. spend her money). So, she came back home to get the 2 gallons of gas I keep for the lawn mower. She didn't realize the spout to the gas can was retractable so she came in the house, emptied out the bottle of taco sauce and tried to use that to put gas in the car. When that failed, she decided to use a drinking straw as a funnel. Needless to say, that did not work. I interrupted her trying to retrieve the straw with an ink pen and her cell phone.

"What are you doing, Savannah?"

"Trying to get the straw out of my gas tank", she replied calmly, as if digging straws out of gas tanks at midnight was a perfectly normal and rational thing to do. Considering that this story ends with her making it back to school on 3.73 worth of gas, driving around for a week with the straw in the tank, only to have her boyfriend with the ridiculously yummy accent to finally get the straw out for her, I guess maybe it was.

A Little 'Splaining

So, did you see the name of my blog? You're probably wondering about it. Let me explain. I have big boobs. There, I said it, it's out in the open. As a result, I also have deep cleavage. I'm also a messy eater. Well, I don't know if it's so much being a messy eater as it is that the girls block anything from falling to my lap or the floor. It is quite common for me to find crumbs, fried rice, cupcake sprinkles or even a goldfish cracker nestled in my bosom at the end of the day. I'm sure this happens to buxom chicks all the time but no one talks about it. I do, to the point that when I asked friends to suggest a title for my blog, Crumbs in the Cleavage was the first one made. It's memorable, clever and short so I went with it.

Want a snack?